She said a lot of stuff like that
by ImplicationsProblematic
Summary: Shepard reminisces about her friendship with Samara on the SR2. So the idea behind this is that, sometime between ME2 and ME3, Shepard is reminiscing about her crew and describing them to someone- maybe it's Vega, or Anderson, or Kaidan even. -Art courtesy of AEMcDuff.-


**I don't know how this one got so long- especially seeing as it took me forever to get into it.**

 **As usual, the conversational style worries me, because I'm not sure it makes sense to other people... But here we go.**

Have I told you about Samara? No? Ohhhh, that's a story and a half.

So the dossier from The Illusive Bastard basically just said she was a Justicar. I thought I was doing okay when it came to learning about Asari culture— not that I exactly had time to study it. But Justicars? I had no real idea what I was dealing with.

They're an ancient, semi—monastic order… Samara said it was sort of like knights or samurai from back in the day. They follow a very strict code— and their obedience is absolute. But I mean **absolute**. They serve… well, _justice…_ protecting innocents, upholding laws… and they don't believe in shades of of a Judge Dredd vibe… When she joined the crew, she swore an oath to me— they're rather fond of their oaths— and it was… kind of scary. She told me that my orders were her orders… but also that, if I ordered her to do anything that violated her code whilst she was in my service, she'd have to kill me when the mission was over. So yeah, that was… _unsettling_.

But before that happened I had to find her. She'd been sighted on Ilium and— with a little help from Liara— we found a detective who knew where she was. The detective— Anyala I think… Christ, I meet so many people… I can't remember all their names…— anyway, she was not all that happy about having a Justicar around. They're well respected— idolised even; a lot of young Asari dream of becoming one. There aren't many of them because the training is so intense. I thought the N7 recruit fatality rate was high, but _damn._ But they're even more revered because of that. There are magazines about them and everything. So yeah, they're held in high esteem, but seeing one means trouble. **Big** trouble.

In particular, Anaya's problem was that she had been ordered to bring Samara in. But that would have meant obstructing her work… and let's just say that wouldn't have ended well for her. So she told us where to look in the hope that we'd get Samara far away from her legal jurisdiction— and I can't say I blame her. Samara had been seen around a back alley murder scene. A Volus merchant had been killed— Dakni something I think. Our old friends Eclipse were suspected to be involved, and, sure enough, we had a run in with them before we found her… _interviewing_ an Eclipse lieutenant. Samara needed a ship name, but the merc refused repeatedly… so Samara killed her. Just **killed** her without batting an eyelid— though she threw in a " _Find peace in the embrace of the Goddess."_ for good measure. Like I said, there are no shades of grey for Justicars. If you get in their way— in the way of **justice** — you're toast. I can't say I felt particularly bad for the lieutenant, but the whole thing was pretty alarming.

I explained our goal— blowing the Collector's to Hell— and she considered it a worthy cause. But she said she was already engaged in a mission and was sworn to see it through. After seeing her in action, I knew she'd be an invaluable asset, so I suggested a deal. Samara would allow Anaya to take her in— for a limited period. It was just for show. She could have torn through every officer they had without blinking. She wasn't even handcuffed. If she had been, her code would require her to kill the detective; she was very much there by choice. Anyway, she'd stay there for one day before… 'breaking out'. In that time, we had to get the ship name from yet more Eclipse mercs— the ones responsible for smuggling the target off Ilium.

We got into their base with a little help from a drug dealing Volus…. _I meet such nice people in my line of work_ … The base was full of mercs and LOKI mechs— oh, and crates of the Volus' drug. I forget the name of it… And the crates had a nasty habit of exploding into nasty red clouds of dust. It amplified biotics, but was also highly toxic. So Miranda and I at least got something out of it, but Grunt was just there grumbling away. Anyway, like I said, it's nasty stuff.

Then came the gunship. _Of course there was a gunship_. It made me wish I had Kasumi with me so she could pull off some more aerial gymnastics to take it down. But we got past it— eventually.

Oh! And _then_ we met another Volus and— well, I shouldn't laugh; he'd been pumped full of drugs by mercs. He was completely off his head and kept going on about being " _A biotic god!"_. He was gearing up to charge ahead to tackle the Eclipse leader— so we stopped him of course… Persuaded him to go home and take a nap. But honestly, it was so funny…

We met the Eclipse captain— Wasea— in the next room. That was a messy fight— those crates were everywhere and she kept chucking them directly at us. I call that bad sportsmanship, but anyway… When we'd finished them off, we found the details of the ship— The Demeter— on a data pad and headed back to Anaya and Samara.

And that was that was that. Samara swore the oath right there in Anaya's office and headed we to the ship. Not for long though— we more or less headed straight back out to recruit Thane. But that's another story.

Samara said she'd prefer accommodation where she could _"gaze out into the void"_ … yeah, she said a lot of stuff like that… so we set her up in the Starboard Observation Lounge, and she seemed pretty happy with it. She spent a lot of time meditating in there— she even taught me a little. I didn't really have the concentration for it if I'm honest, but it _did_ help with… just processing y'know… stuff. I always felt bad about disturbing her thoughts. But one day, she asked me to come and see her.

Samara had a new lead on the criminal she'd been tracking. They'd been spotted on Omega— I wasn't particularly thrilled to be heading back there, but when she explained the details, I felt I had to. The target was an _Ardat—Yakshi_. Heard of them? Ha, I didn't know what that meant either. It means 'Demon of the Night Winds', or something equally creepy. Samara explained that there's a rare genetic disorder among the Asari that makes them especially powerful— nearly Justicar levels— and, _crucially_ , super—charges their nervous system, meaning that when they meld with someone the um… _partner's_ system is overpowered and they basically become vegetables— or, when the Ardat Yakshi is very powerful, they hemorrhage and die. The stronger ones, like Morinth— that was our target's name— are able to sort of… dominate the minds of others… kind of hypnotise them into becoming highly suggestible and more or less defenseless. _Extreme_ seduction. And the more an Ardat Yakshi melds, the stronger they become and the more they need to do it. It's a physical, addictive **need**.

After hearing all that, how could I not intervene? But there was one last kicker. Morinth was Samara's **_daughter_** **.**

I had no idea what to say, or do. Samara isn't exactly the hugging type and… God, it knocked me for six. She had three daughters, all with the condition. Can you imagine that? It only affects 1% of Asari, but it's apparently more common in those of Pureblood descent— I.e, when both parents are Asari. I definitely got the sense that she felt that _she_ had given them this curse— that if _she_ hadn't been pureblood and hadn't chosen to have pureblood daughters... But I shouldn't be using that word. It's a slur among the Asari. They're widely treated like freaks… genetic throwbacks… And the low prevalence of this condition in their population certainly doesn't help things. It's funny… the Asari seem so advanced and superior… they've been kicking around the relays for so long… and yet they still have this sort of mindless crap… It's so sad. Samara didn't need or want sympathy, but I couldn't help feeling fucking awful for her.

When the condition manifests, Ardat Yakshi are given a choice: spend their life isolated in a monastery away from… well, temptation I guess… **or** , be executed. Samara's younger two daughters picked the first option. But Morinth escaped and tore a path through the galaxy, killing god knows how many people. That was what originally prompted Samara to become a Justicar. She hunted Morinth for 400 years. **_400 years_**. Humans were had only just built the steam engine when this started… On one planet, Morinth convinced an entire village to worship her and bring her sacrifices to feed her addiction. When Samara arrived, Morinth sent the villagers at her in waves whilst she made her exit. And of course Samara killed them in accordance with her code. Some of the younger kids survived and Samara made sure they were safe… but… _Christ_.

This tip she got about Omega was the best lead she'd had in more than a century. We _had_ to go.

I asked Samara what she'd do with Morinth if/when we found her, fully expecting her to say we'd arrest her and have her shipped off to some facility on Thessia. But no. Ardat Yakshi who refuse life in a monastery **die**. No exceptions. As for ones who have also done what she had… Samara seemed resigned to it— totally accepting that it had to be done because the code commanded it and the code must be obeyed for the good of all. But that _must_ have been difficult, even after four centuries.

Anyway, we got to Omega and got some information from Aria T'Loak regarding Morinth's most recent victim; a poor kid named Nef, still in her teens. Her mother was devastated. It was horrible to see. Everyone seems to think Salarians are unfeeling, but Mordin was visibly saddened by it too. Then again, he's perhaps not a typical example of the species. Samara though… She was _always_ so calm. It was great to have that in a group when the rest of you are high on adrenaline, maybe acting a little too hastily. She could _ground_ us, y'know? We'd all be there in a fight, screaming away— Jack and Grunt especially— but Samara would be there doing just as much damage as everyone else and the strongest sound you'd hear from her would be " _Your soul is mine."_. And even that would only come out in a _really nasty_ confrontation. Samara isn't the big crashing waves in a storm, she's the deep currents that drown you into the darkness without even being seen. Though you could say something similar about Thane's battle behaviour.

Sorry, I'm babbling. The point I was _trying_ to make, was that when we were there with Nef's mother, watching her grief, I saw a tiny change… A flicker in that flawless calm. It was anger, but also guilt— because if **she** hadn't brought this murderer into the world, or if **she** hadn't failed to catch her before now, then this woman wouldn't have to bury her only child. Knowing your failures have torn lives apart like that… well, I know what that's like. I looked at Samara in that moment and the guilt and grief and pity all turned to iron— we were going to bring this bitch down.

We had a look through Nef's stuff; tried to be respectful… but you can't help feel bad. The kid was a talented sculptor just starting to get some attention from art dealers. I can't appreciate art for shit, but I liked her stuff in my limited way. Nef kept a holo—diary… Listening to a dead teenager's diary… that didn't feel great. But we picked up some information about her time with Morinth— including the password to the VIP section of Afterlife.

Samara came up with a plan. I would go in alone and unarmed and… basically try to get Morinth to pick me up. _I know, I know_. Samara said Morinth was attracted to people with talent and that I had a talent for… destruction I guess. When we left the club, Samara would follow and— well, hopefully save my ass. I was feeling okay about it until Samara took me aside and explained quite how dangerous it was. But she had to be stopped and this was how to do it.

So I headed into Afterlife in a stupid little dress and heels. Yeah, yeah, it's a ridiculous image I know. Don't laugh. I lucked out on the way in; some idiot was babbling about an ' _amazing Asari'_ who liked a band called _Expel 10_. I was able to drop that into conversation to impress her once she came over to me. But I had to hang around for a while first… beat up a Turian hassling a dancer, trash talked a Krogan… It worked fine. Before long Morinth came over and invited me to her booth. She was the spitting image of Samara so it was really weird to have her hitting on me like that.

The information we picked up beforehand really came in handy and soon we were heading back to her apartment. It was crazy… I knew she was this vile, merciless killer, but I was… well, to be frank, I was attracted to her. I don't even normally go for girls, but I could feel her in my head. By the time we got there, I was getting less and less concerned about Samara showing up. When Morinth made her move I held out for awhile, which clearly frustrated her, but if Samara hadn't shown up, I think I would have eventually been overwhelmed by her— and knowing that was terrifying.

But of course Samara burst in and Morinth stopped concentrating on me. I took a little time to come back to myself, but soon enough to witness and incredibly intense fight. I'd never seen Samara so angry… Eventually they were locked in a sort of biotic stalemate and Morinth begged me to take her with me instead of her mother. No deal— _obviously_. I broke the stalemate and Samara killed her— staring right into her eyes; quickly, clinically, as if Morinth was just another criminal. Which I suppose she was, as far as the Justicar code is concerned. I asked Samara if she was okay— like an idiot. How could she be okay? She didn't look at me for a long time— her eyes were glued to Morinth— but eventually she said " _I just killed the bravest and smartest of my daughters._ "…

Understandably, she wanted to head back to the Normandy. I was worried that I'd made a huge mistake; that now she'd be distracted by grief and guilt to the detriment of the mission— but I needn't have worried. She took a couple of days to work things through and then one day she came and joined a group of us having dinner in the mess. She hadn't done that before— she'd always eaten alone in the observation lounge. But from then on, she joined us most days. It wasn't that she became less intense— not by a long shot. I guess maybe she didn't have that 400 year pursuit weighing on her mind anymore? I don't know, I wouldn't presume to know how she felt. But she seemed a little more open, though she had always been polite and respectful to everyone. I think she and Thane spoke quite a lot. They both had this sort of… I don't know, _depth_ I suppose. Plus, both of them had some issues surrounding their kids. Zaeed was also rather fond of her— if you know what I mean…

I always felt… like I could come to Samara and talk about things without judgment. Big things… the hard calls where there doesn't feel like any right choice because whatever you do you're screwing someone over. Samara had this sort of wisdom; she could look at a situation objectively, but never cruelly. Maybe that was because of the code or maybe it was nearly a thousand years of experience talking— but either way, it meant a lot to have her to go to. I wish she had been with me on the final push in the Collector Base. That final choice… to destroy the whole thing or save the information at the risk of The Illusive Man abusing it… I would have really appreciated her help on that one. But I'm confident blowing it up was the right choice in the end.

Samara is a force of nature, but she's also a close friend. She has this way of putting things in perspective. I was **so** **angry** about having to turn myself in and just consent to imprisonment— and I'm still **pissed**. But after I talked to Samara I felt a lot better about it. Pissed, but not explosively pissed. You know when you're a kid and something happens that feels like the worst thing in the world, and then you run your parents and they make you feel like maybe things **will** be okay? It's sort of like that. It's pretty likely that I won't see her again— she doesn't exactly get holidays and she's constantly traveling— but I feel a lot better knowing she's out there.


End file.
